The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu Had this Horror-fan in Hysterics

It can be hard deciding whether to laugh or scream when it comes to scary movies, and that’s why horror and comedy make such a lovely genre pair. Horror-comedies have been around for decades - literally. The first one was a silent film in 1920 titled Haunted Spooks. Of course today we’re more familiar with films like Evil Dead, Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, and Idle Hands, but the American film The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu takes this melded genre to a new level. Part buddy flick, part road movie, part supernatural thriller - think of this film as Road Trip meets Alien.

In the depths of the ocean, a monster lies dormant. For Cthulhu to be roused from years of slumber, the two separated pieces of the relic key must be brought together in order to unlock his underwater tomb. The earthly cult of Cthulhu has found one half, and with the help of a supernatural army of fish-people, they are on their way to the location of piece number two. Unfortunately for Jeff, an average cubicle-bound office worker, he has been given the task of guarding it due to a hereditary link to infamous horror novelist, H.P. Lovecraft. He and his co-worker (and best friend), Charlie, call upon their old high school’s token geek, Paul, to learn more about the ancient beast and the consequences of the relic being joined. They are tracked down by the cult’s army and the three unlikely heroes soon find themselves on the run from Cthulhu’s vicious descendants. If they can keep the relic in two pieces, they will save the world from violent destruction and certain doom. If not, we’re all fish food.

You really get the best of both worlds with this one. The laughs are many, thanks mostly to Paul, whose character bears a striking resemblance (physically and behaviorally) to Zack Galifianakis in The Hangover. The bumbling trio never seems to find a cohesive mode of defense - much to the delight of audiences. As for the horror - blood, battle, and beasts are aplenty. Sci-fi fans will also be pleased with the creature designs and costume effects. If you like to laugh, or love to scream (or never know which to do), this film is for you!

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu plays Thursday, September 30th at the Plaza at 11:00 PM. Get your tickets at CIFF box office locations, or online. Make sure you bring a box of tissues - whether you’re wiping tears of fright or fun is up to you.

Do You Have a Healthy Appetite for Horror? Sink Your Teeth Into Bitter Feast!

Hell hath no fury like a scorned chef. That’s how the saying goes, right?

The premise of the American horror film Bitter Feast is remarkably simple. Chef Peter Gray loses both his job and his television show thanks to a nasty review written by snobby food critic JT Franks. Furious, Gray decides to get even with Franks by capturing and torturing him. Sounds simple enough, but viewers will be horrified by the creative (and cruel) lengths the cross cook will go to to prove his point. As a relentless horror-junkie, I’ve seen it all when it comes to murderers and their tragic back stories: the abused sadist, the ex-cop, the serial killer, the escaped convict, the mental patient, etc. etc. - but a chef? This one was new to me, but it works frighteningly well. Here are a few reasons a chafed chef makes a chilling madman:

Knives
Every horror movie has to have them - they’re the perfect way to achieve maximum gore. Well, here’s a villain that really knows how to use them. After spending hours upon hours hunched over a chopping block, a chef has some serious skill when it comes to slicing and dicing, no matter the type of flesh.

Poison
With their extensive knowledge of flavour combinations, they can accent or mask anything. How do you know that delicious bite of apple pie wasn’t laced with cyanide? Your next meal could be your last!

Appliances
You don’t need to be baking a cake to use an electric mixer, do you? And that blender isn’t just for smoothies...

Heat
Even the most careful cook has had a mishap with an oven, microwave, burner, or pot of boiling water - and it hurts! The kitchen is full of fire and needs to be navigated carefully, or in the case of a deranged chef, creatively.

Trust
Think about it - rarely (if ever) do you get to actually see someone prepare your meal, but you wolf it down anyway. That makes you vulnerable, AKA: an easy target. Even the chef at your local diner has the opportunity to take advantage of that. Have you ever thought to examine your plate for secret garnishes like pins, needles, razor blades, or rat poison? No. But I bet you will now...

I’m not going to divulge which of these devices Peter Gray puts to use- you’ll just have to see it for yourself! Bitter Feast plays tonight, September 25th, at The Plaza at 11:30 PM. Get your tickets online at www.calgaryfilm.com - but make sure you grab dinner first, you may not feel like chowing down afterward...

Bon Appetit!